England Jokes

Police are investigating reports that someone has soundproofed Hadrians Wall.This follows 5 million phonecalls from Scotland saying its all gone quiet over there.

(for those who don't know, Hadrians Wall was built by the Romans to stop the Scots coming into England)

 

What's white & red and goes "beep, beep, beep"?











England's open-top bus, reversing back into its garage for another four years

 

Whats the difference between viagra and england.

At least you can get a semi from viagra

 

In a statement from broadcasting house, all future England games will now be shown on the gay porn channel. It is thought that 11 a*sholes being regularly shafted is too explicit for regular TV



I can't believe we only managed a draw against a s**t team we should easily have beaten......I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.


The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning, "its so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling, and facing the impossible" said Jamal Omboto, aged 6.

 

What's difference between England and teabag?


A teabag stays in cup longer


I found this joke in the "Witze-Erzähl-Thread".

 

i thought this website forum was to discuss werder bremen? there are thousands of other forums available for you to vent your anti english sentiments, mr scotland.

 

Board for Werder-fans from abroad. English only, please! Non-english postings will be deleted

Doesn't say anything about only discussing Werder in the above does it? BTW, I'm not anti english. I just enjoy a good joke.

 

The English soccer team visited an orphanage while in South Africa. "I've never seen so many sad faces" said Jamal, age 6.

 

Sorry....double post

 

ok then clark. here is something you might enjoy. i did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7KUps8KIg4&feature=youtube_gdata

i should point out that i have shared many of the england jokes with my german work colleagues and had a laugh about it. in fact most of the jokes were actually thought up by english people. you see, us english do enjoy to occasionally laugh at ourselves.

peace and love everybody and i hope germany win the world cup and i collect my winnings at the bookies.

its just i thought i was on the werder bremen website, not the german national team website or the i hate england website.

 

I have to agree. I live near Brixton and from those that know that I am German, I received very warm comments. England fans were very fair on the day. Fair play to them, they didn't even try too much to centre the discussion around the goal by Lampard which was not given.

And just as a reminder, so far we have nothing achieved. Of course, it was a joyful occasion on Sunday. Happy for the young team.

Tractor Boy I hope you can pick up your winnings from the bookies on 12 July. ;-)

It is the Werder Forum after all.

 

this is genius!

Watch the video and appreciate the guy at around the 1 minute mark.

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http://www.bild.de/BILD/video/cli...

:applaus:

 

seems I've touched a nerve.........ouch. There is more than one section on the forum dedicated to non Werder topics so its not all about Werder, just Werder fans

Tractor Boy - fixtures are out this Monday. How about coming over at the same time as us? You'll see we're only on the wind up on here. We'll even supply you with a complimentary club t-shirt. It'll also give us time to discuss Ayrshires finest export to East Anglia...........Gary Holt!

 

Englishman asks Referee: "Haven´t you really seen the goal?"
Referee: "Nein"

 

No offense intended, Tractor Boy - it's only a harmless joke that could easily be used for any team's loss (including DE, should they lose). Considering the topic is "England Jokes", I guess I thought it'd be appropriate to post it here.

Anyways, it is true, the English have been extremely good-humored about it all, and they have remained classy throughout the experience. I have yet to run across a single one of them that will offer an excuse or make issue of the non-goal. Not many groups of fans would allow themselves to be so rational regarding such an injustice. Most of my English friends are also now pulling for DE.

I could not access the video you posted - it had been removed by the time I saw this.

 

the link was to a mini movie showing the germany 4-1 win over england in lego. you might have seen it elsewhere already but i can say it is really good.